Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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