i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
