I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
it's great music for shaving your balls
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
