I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
