Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
