(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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