YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Small penises have feelings too.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize