come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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