this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
