So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
