Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
We're too hungover to prance.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
