it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize