closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
