Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
