no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
