I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
