well you can't waste a boner
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
