Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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