i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
