Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
