And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize