you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
