the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
