I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
