the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Randomize
