Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
