Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
