you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
