another moral hangover. fuck.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize