Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
