hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
