I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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