dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
