I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
