why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
