the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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