Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
This baby is an asshole
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
