I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
