I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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