No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
