just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
