3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
