he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
