omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
