She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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