Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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