What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
