My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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