She is in my trunk
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
