My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
