i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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