Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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