he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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