i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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