you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I need a burrito and a hug.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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