i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
