Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Randomize
