I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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