Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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