Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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