Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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