Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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