Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
