Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
