is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
