Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
