do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize