WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Randomize