Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
