I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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