Can i not drive my cunt home
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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